Many years back while living in North Carolina on a Army base, I spent many hours alone and in deep thought. I did not know this then, but that was a really special time for me in my growth toward the unknown. One night after working long hours I came home extremely tired. My ex-husband was still out and about doing what the military does. I waited up for him, but when he got home the fatigue of the day caught up with me and I went on to bed while he stayed up to eat and listen to music.
For several weeks I had been thinking of how I wish I had more wisdom. I really didn't understand what that meant at the time, but I wanted to know more about the creator or how things worked.
I don't really remember lying down that night, but I felt myself floating above the bed. I was aware, but not frightened by this. Then suddenly I was somewhere I cannot put into words really. It was like space, but not like space. I could see but I could not see. I could feel and know everything, for that moment everything made sense. The world, us, 'God' or what I perceived as god which was all around me, but through me too. Something startled me and with that I felt myself fall back into my body and I woke up suddenly. Whatever it was that startled me I knew it was not bad at that moment just foreign. I understood it while I was there, but cannot put it into words. That was over 16 years ago. I have been changed since that time. Something new and fresh opened in me and I knew there was nothing to fear ever. I am a part of something greater - we all are part of something greater.
Ever since that day I have wanted to go back and feel that feeling again, but have not fully felt that awe since, but now I realize it was a gift that I must use to better the world around me.
I only wish I could draw or put into words what was there and what I felt. It was beyond words.
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