Burning deep within

A driving force of passion

How do I harness it?

No one knows.

Breathe…deep

Calm…release

No one cares.

Breathe…deep

Calm…release

There is a greater purpose we do not see.

Our minds are closed to possibilities.

How far will mankind go, before the earth can take no more?

As I can see there is no halt, before we destroy what we got.

When did man decide to leave, the world with which he should have cleaved?

I can hear a fainting cry –

“You must realize you rip my skin.

You pull my hair out from the pores.

The blood is running very red.

It’s making pools that are so deep.

I will bleed, but not for long.

My scars are many, but they will heal.

Not that I wish to make you suffer,

but Fate is working on my side.

The balance must be maintained…

Even if it means you pain.”

Chad Houser

This is for Chad Houser...
because I just don't tell you enough.

Sometimes I have so much to say; 
My lips will not move.
Bringing it to the surface I cannot do.

When you are near I feel so safe; 
Sleep comes easy to my soul. 
I feel I have some purpose. 

With words unspoken,
I wonder do you feel this way too.
Simple jesters reassure that it must be true.

In frozen state boils compassion unknown.
Why won’t it come to the point of release?
Why do I look like stone?

My mind stumbles on the words to say.
I see you looking at me for a response;
There I stand with blank face and words not there.

I try to show you in my simple way;
The joy and excitement I feel for you,
But my message will not get through.

I’m not good at love I tell myself;
I beat my soul to a pulp.
I’ve held it in to long I know.

My mind it stings with pain.
My heart it hurts so much.
The words won’t come.

Even though the words sound plain;
My face is frozen in time;
Writing this poem seems hard.

It may sound corny, cheesy too,
Or uncool to listening ear;
But…Baby I love you!

Dreaming

We are told as children that there are things beyond the realm of reality, but we are to never go there because no good can come of it, but to know one's self completely it is a must to step out of reality into the unknown to see the hidden aspects of life's potential.

My experience...

Many years back while living in North Carolina on a Army base, I spent many hours alone and in deep thought. I did not know this then, but that was a really special time for me in my growth toward the unknown. One night after working long hours I came home extremely tired. My ex-husband was still out and about doing what the military does. I waited up for him, but when he got home the fatigue of the day caught up with me and I went on to bed while he stayed up to eat and listen to music.

For several weeks I had been thinking of how I wish I had more wisdom. I really didn't understand what that meant at the time, but I wanted to know more about the creator or how things worked.

I don't really remember lying down that night, but I felt myself floating above the bed. I was aware, but not frightened by this. Then suddenly I was somewhere I cannot put into words really. It was like space, but not like space. I could see but I could not see. I could feel and know everything, for that moment everything made sense. The world, us, 'God' or what I perceived as god which was all around me, but through me too. Something startled me and with that I felt myself fall back into my body and I woke up suddenly. Whatever it was that startled me I knew it was not bad at that moment just foreign. I understood it while I was there, but cannot put it into words. That was over 16 years ago. I have been changed since that time. Something new and fresh opened in me and I knew there was nothing to fear ever. I am a part of something greater - we all are part of something greater.

Ever since that day I have wanted to go back and feel that feeling again, but have not fully felt that awe since, but now I realize it was a gift that I must use to better the world around me.

I only wish I could draw or put into words what was there and what I felt. It was beyond words.

A Tribute to that Lady of Old

Venus Von Willendorf, Great Mother of old,

You fed the land in your time.

Lovely limestone lady in Vienna.

Fertility symbol of the ancients,

bowing your headdress in humility.

What mysteries you must hold.

Isis with your throne headdress,

you are the Mother of the land of sand.

Egypt’s great protector and giver of life.

Friend of the slaves and sinners,

you listen to their prayers.

Flooding the Nile each years with your tears,

your milk and honey flows year to year.

Pachomama great fertile lady,

Master of plants and seasons,

Causer of earthquakes,

the land of the Andes is yours.

The toast of Challa is bid to you,

for the harvest is yours.

“to feed and to give drink to the land!”

Toci, Great Mother of the Gods,

You purified the fields and healed the sick.

Lady of cleansing and bringer of life,

with your sacrifice,

you gave birth of the Aztecs.

Ninsun, Mother of All,

with your beauty and fertile lands.

Your people wrote erotic poetry to you.

Gaia, daughter of Chaos,

Mother of all,

Creator of the sea, sky and land,

Your names are many,

Rhea, Hera, Demeter, Artemis, Hellines

Greek woman as Magna Mater.

Oh Anu, Great Danu,

Lady of the Fae, Goddess of running water.

Giver of mystery and hidden realms,

your skills and culture surpasses.

The Tuatha De Danann your people.

You are the ruler of the otherworld.

Nerthus, fertility goddess

Eorpan modor! (Earthmother)

Folde fira modor! (Earth, mother of men)

With your great cart you travel the land.

War is withheld for you.

Peace is a certainty,

when your heifers are seen in view.

Umay, Earth Mother of the Turks,

protector of woman and young,

with the smile of the baby,

your people know you are near.

Your sixty golden tresses so bright,

food and goods are given to all.

Durga empowering and protector of motherhood,

mother of Ganesha, Kartikeya, Lakshmi and Saraswati,

Kali sprank forth from you,

to defeat Mahishasur that inhuman force.

You are the divine ground who brought forth life.

Your reign is great and supreme.

You brought forth Shiva,

The unchanged, infinite, immanent and transcendent reality.

Great Sophia, heavenly Wisdom.

Holy Spirit of the land.

Giver and sustainer of life.

Your name is hidden,

But to those who seek all is revealed.

I walk among your creatures

And see them as separate parts.

Giver of life, nurturer of many.

You are always there to eternity.

Forever turning among the black.

Your beauty is more than one can bare.

Your colors are vivid.

Your names are many.

I am only a small cell of your great divine.

Such variety and beauty you offer me.

My mother, my sister, my lover.

You are all of these and more.

The Shaded Garden: Thinking

The Shaded Garden: Thinking: Well here I am again at work and my mind is else where. So many thoughts and emotions - unable to put them into words for the world to see. ...

Thinking

Well here I am again at work and my mind is else where. So many thoughts and emotions - unable to put them into words for the world to see. I have so much to say but the brain to hand thing doesn't seem to make the connection...or shall I say I never like the way the words flow on paper.

Been thinking a lot about my beliefs and what is on the other side of this mundane existence we call life. Is there really anything better over there or is our world the most beautiful thing we will know. I am beginning to think we are looking at this all all wrong. I think it is a privilege to be able to be here and I only hope I get to do it again and again. Our world is lovely. I wonder if I really have been here before and what level of thinking I reached then. I believe if we do come back we evolve more and more with each experience. I wonder if in the darkness of my mind since I do feel so deeply for the things of the past was I here before? Do I remember the feeling the connection with earth that seems impossible for humans now? Is that why I long for us to be there again?